


sin

by helenabertinelli



Category: Birds of Prey (Comic), DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Mention of past Helena/Dick, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 03:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10454277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenabertinelli/pseuds/helenabertinelli
Summary: Helena finds herself torn between the woman she could love and the way she was raised.





	

**SIN.**

**  
**  
That was the word bouncing through her mind as she laid there, arm around the girl of her dream's naked body. She pressed a kiss on her lover's pale shoulder and turned away from her. Staring into the darkness she wondered if this was all worth it.    
  
Helena was a woman of the church. She was a born and raised catholic. She spent every Sunday in mass and every Friday in confessional. Hell, she even worked in a catholic school, teaching young girls and overseeing their wellbeing. Yet she existed as a walking contradiction.  
  
Most of the time it didn't bother her because everybody sins sometimes, it's the repenting that was important. But for some reason looking at the woman in bed next to her she was unsure if this was a sin that could be prayed away.

 

Her mother had taught her from a young age, to pick your sins wisely because it was better to blend into the crowd than stand out.  
  
_"Helena dear, a black women must work twice as hard to get half as far. Don't add any more obstacles than you have to," Her mother would chide when her gaze lingered on another girl for too long._  
  
Helena had managed to follow this advice for most of her life, leaving nothing but a string of broken hearts behind her as she bounced from relationship to relationship never quite finding one that fit.  
  
Then she met her. Dinah was outspoken and loud. She said what she wanted and did what she wanted without much thought of consequences. From the moment they met Helena was enamored. Dinah didn't seem to have a care in the world even when she held the weight of the world on her shoulders. Helena wished to feel the same.  
  
Their relationship began in a bar, her father's bar to be exact. Looking back she felt shame, she knew exactly what her father would say and how’d he'd feel but in the moment it felt so right. 

They had been playing pool and drinking casually. Helena was beating Dinah by a lot, much to the blonde’s dismay.

  
"How are you so good at this?” Dinah groaned racking up the balls for another game. She was on a 0-2 losing streak and she never lost in pool.

 Helena shrugged “I've been playing pool my whole life.” She leaned against their booth resting her chin on her cue. “The trick is bouncing it off the sides of the table.”

“Like this?” Dinah asked, taking a shot. The ball bounced off the side and rolled into the center of the table.

Helena shook her head an easy smile on her face “No it's like this,” 

Standing behind Dinah, she placed her hands over the other girls. “Aim slightly to the left if you want the ball to go down and aim more to the right if you want it to go up.” Helena shifted the direction of the cue and guided Dinah's hands to make the shot, once everything was perfectly aligned she stepped back, “You try.”

Dinah hit the ball and the 9 ball rolled directly into the pocket. Dinah turned around and smirked, “Now that I know your secret prepare to get your ass beat.”

They played two more games of pool and had two more rounds of drinks before they collapsed into a booth, giggling like children. The two girls sat squished together on one side of the table, breathing heavily after all their laughter. 

“You know you're not as stiff as you let everyone think.” Dinah commented, leaning her head against Helena’s side. Helena wrapped her arm around Dinah’s shoulders almost as if it was instinct.

“Shh don't tell anyone, you'll ruin my street cred.”

“What street cred?”

“Hey!”

“Fine. I won't tell anyone on one condition,”

“Anything.” 

“A kiss.”

“A what?” Helena said blinking, she wasn't sure if she had heard her quite right.

“A kiss. If you give me one kiss I'll keep my lips shut for good.” Dinah said with a smile, her fingers rubbing circles into Helena’s jean clad thigh.

Helena bit her lip, weighing her options for a second before she leaned in and pressed a soft peck on the blonde’s lips. It lasted no more than a second, the kind of kiss you give a distant relative but Helena could feel her entire face had gone red. Normally she was much more suave, when it came to flirting but she had never flirted with a woman before and it was knocking her off her game.

Helena opened her eyes a few seconds after the kiss to find Dinah staring at her.

“You give kisses like my grandma,” She teased resting her fingers on her lips. Helena noticed she too had turned red from the kiss.

“I do not!”

“You know I expected more considering you were with Dick.”

“Trust me Grayson’s best moves were taught to him by me,”

“Oh really?”

“Really.”

“Prove it.”

Helena huffed, never one to back down from a challenge. That combined with the confidence booster from alcohol and her attraction to the blonde, Helena had no fear when she recaptured Dinah’s lips once more in a deeper, more energetic kiss. Dinah responded enthusiastically, sliding into Helena’s lap.  The kiss only lasted a minute but was followed with many more sequential kisses. Helena felt herself getting lost in Dinah’s kisses and she didn't hesitate when Dinah asked if she wanted to go to her place.

 

Helena frowned, she had mixed feelings about that day six months ago. On one hand being with Dinah had made her the happiest she'd been in years but on the other hand she felt as if she had betrayed God and his plan for her. Sighing Helena turned over on her other side so she was facing Dinah. She felt selfish Dinah was so open and caring while she couldn’t be the same. The more she opened up to Dinah the more she felt like she was going to hell. Sighing, she tried to put the thoughts out of her head. Helena looked at Dinah’s sleeping face and smiled, if anyone could make sleeping look effortless and beautiful it was Dinah.

 “Are you watching me sleep?” Dinah mumbled sleepily

 Helena felt her cheeks flush “Maybe.”

 “It’s okay I’ve done it too,”

 “What, watch yourself sleep?”

 Dinah scowled, “You know what I meant.”

 “Mhmm sure, weirdo.” Helena teased, and Dinah laughed.

They laid there inches apart, hands intertwined under the sheets, barely breathing. It felt intimate for some reason as if they didn’t have to speak to share thoughts and it scared Helena. All of her relationships had lived and died quickly, filled with passion and romance and ending with burned bridges but this relationship was quiet nights, whispered words and learning of dreams and passions. Helena was quite sure she could do this completely immerse herself in this, in _her,_ but she wasn’t sure she was supposed to and so once again she found herself at a crossroads. Did she take the road less traveled, and go against everything she was taught or did she leave and follow the common road, the one her parents taught her to look for? All of these thoughts were swirling in her head leaving her feeling panicked and scared, if it wasn’t for a light touch on her forehead she probably would have kept spiraling. Blinking slowly she looked down at the shorter girl,

“Yes?” She asked

Dinah frowned, rubbing at a spot in between Helena’s eyebrows. Helena hadn’t realized she had been furrowing her eyebrows so hard until she stopped and her head hurt. “Helena, honey, you’re okay, you’re not doing anything wrong.” 

“That’s not how it feels Dinah.”

Dinah reached up and kissed the brunette’s forehead softly, “I know, but I promise you this is right. We’re right,”

And somehow those words were all it took to calm her, and soon Helena felt herself becoming drowsy. It wasn’t long until she finally drifted off to sleep in her lover’s arms, feeling happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Written at 2am with no editing.


End file.
